Skip to main content

Day 28: Language is important

It's raining. I wanted to go for a walk but it's really coming down. So I decided to listen to a podcast !

So while listening to this podcast on the Hawaiian language, and people who are trying to revitalize the language and keep it from extinction, I thought of myself. 

I thought of this Who are you? activity I did with my colleagues on Thursday. I thought about all the things that make me, me.  

I thought of all the things I am and all the things I am not. 

This week, I was confronted with another I am.

I am a Puerto Rican who does not speak Spanish. People, a lot of people, look at me and hear my name and assume that I speak Spanish But I do not. 

My mom speaks Spanish and my father spoke Spanish and so does my grandmother but I do not.  And that has always been confusing to me and to everyone around me. 

And I know why I won't and don't speak Spanish. When I was younger I would try to speak in spanish. The words would swirl in my head. It felt so simple flowing in my ears but as soon as I opened my lips and moved my month and tongue the words no longer sounded beautiful. They sounded broken and stuttered. My family would tell me I sounded like a gringa and laugh. It was the worst and my hurt sunk and I gave up. 

Over the years, I've tried over and over but I always stop and give up. 

Embarrassed about my accent. 

Embarrassed that the verbs and other words don't flow. 

But I think that listening to the podcast today might have inspired me to try again. 

Let's see.











Comments

  1. eddieMarch 28, 2021 at 1:27 PM

    Well this is just beautiful. So human and personal and real. Half the battle is always being able to track and root out our issues and you have it pegged well. I think you can do it and I think you should. If you want to. For you. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 28, 2021 at 8:23 PM

    >But I think that listening to the podcast today might have inspired me to try again. <

    Sometimes, our inspiration comes when we least expect it. Allowing yourself to listen, to think about who you are and what you want is a wonderful gift for yourself! The fact that you are willing to give it another try speaks volumes about you as a person.

    Thank you for sharing this quite personal slice with us today! :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 23: Things that can happen at 12:30 AM

 I looked up and I saw a dark shadow.  Am I  dreaming?  What's happening?  Hun! Wake up! Call Security!  What are you talking about? I was so confused. Why am I calling security?  Mary is on the floor in the elevator room.    Mary is my 90 year old neighbor.  -So many questions flooded my foggy brain:  -Why is she on the floor?  -How did my husband know this at 12:30 AM?  I grabbed my glasses and my phone. I called security.  No answer.  Call nonemergency.   What ? I called the precinct. No one answered. And I couldn't figure out the extension because I was still very foggy.  Call 911.  I called and got transferred to EMS.  My neighbor is on the floor. She is 90 years old and seemed very confused. She needs assistance.  Where are you?  #11 East 35 st.  What are the cross streets?  What?  Is she exhibiting signs of covid?  I have no idea.  Yes, in 2021 I was a...
5 comments
Read more

Day 31: side effects

I think it's weird that I don't remember pain.  I mean the kind of pain that cripples you.   Do I remember the pain during my son's birth? No!  Major surgery? Nope!  Don't get me wrong, I remember what it sounds like and what it looks like but not the feeling.  So that is why I was so thrown off by the side effects of the vaccine. Fever.  Headaches.  Body aches.  Nausea. Cold sweats.  Hot 🔥sweats.  No taste.  No smell.   I must have checked off all of the boxes.   And it was the worst 24 hours.   Was it worth it?  I'm not sure but it's done. 
7 comments
Read more

The Day after...

Today I was sore and achy. I woke up with a huge headache.  My arm felt yuck. Should I go to school? I thought about it for an hour. I thought about going to school (my dining table) and showing up for my kiddos. But showing up means a lot more than logging on zoom. It means being real and accessible and kind and listening. I was not able to do that fully this morning.  I texted my school, sipped on my coffee and went back to sleep.  Two hours later... The sun was shining. My windows were wide open. I decided to go for a walk. It felt amazing.  And I'm grateful that I listened to my body.   It's so easy to push through when I'm not 100% but I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to step back.   Bella knows how to step back and relax.  We should all learn a lesson from Bella. 
7 comments
Read more