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Day 28: Language is important

It's raining. I wanted to go for a walk but it's really coming down. So I decided to listen to a podcast !

So while listening to this podcast on the Hawaiian language, and people who are trying to revitalize the language and keep it from extinction, I thought of myself. 

I thought of this Who are you? activity I did with my colleagues on Thursday. I thought about all the things that make me, me.  

I thought of all the things I am and all the things I am not. 

This week, I was confronted with another I am.

I am a Puerto Rican who does not speak Spanish. People, a lot of people, look at me and hear my name and assume that I speak Spanish But I do not. 

My mom speaks Spanish and my father spoke Spanish and so does my grandmother but I do not.  And that has always been confusing to me and to everyone around me. 

And I know why I won't and don't speak Spanish. When I was younger I would try to speak in spanish. The words would swirl in my head. It felt so simple flowing in my ears but as soon as I opened my lips and moved my month and tongue the words no longer sounded beautiful. They sounded broken and stuttered. My family would tell me I sounded like a gringa and laugh. It was the worst and my hurt sunk and I gave up. 

Over the years, I've tried over and over but I always stop and give up. 

Embarrassed about my accent. 

Embarrassed that the verbs and other words don't flow. 

But I think that listening to the podcast today might have inspired me to try again. 

Let's see.











Comments

  1. eddieMarch 28, 2021 at 1:27 PM

    Well this is just beautiful. So human and personal and real. Half the battle is always being able to track and root out our issues and you have it pegged well. I think you can do it and I think you should. If you want to. For you. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 28, 2021 at 8:23 PM

    >But I think that listening to the podcast today might have inspired me to try again. <

    Sometimes, our inspiration comes when we least expect it. Allowing yourself to listen, to think about who you are and what you want is a wonderful gift for yourself! The fact that you are willing to give it another try speaks volumes about you as a person.

    Thank you for sharing this quite personal slice with us today! :)

    ReplyDelete

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