That 2021

So many thoughts are flowing through my brain but I'll stick with my sunshine.   If you're lucky, you can sit in a chair, close your eyes and soak in the rays for 15 minutes.  You're not checking your phone.  You're not racing from one crazy thought to another.  You just sit.   And if you do just sit, something amazing happens.   Something happens to me.  My brain relaxes. My thoughts are resting.  They are there but not sitting on my heart.  And for 15 minutes my mind settles. Most days I stare at the sun. I look at it from my dining room chair. But today I sat. I opened the door. I let my brain rest.  I hope that you got your 15 minutes today. 

I'm exhausted.  My eyeballs feel heavy.  The thought of zoom was hard.  And I'm not sure why today is different from other days.  I got up at the normal time. I had breakfast, blueberries and yogurt. Everything was the same except sunshine and warmth.  Today was sunny and warm, 70 degrees.  And I was inside: Monitoring zoom Answering calls  Staring at a screen  Teaching  Attending meetings  Listening  I took my book and sat in my balcony in-between calls.   The sun felt amazing for those 20 minutes.  

Today I was sore and achy. I woke up with a huge headache.  My arm felt yuck. Should I go to school? I thought about it for an hour. I thought about going to school (my dining table) and showing up for my kiddos. But showing up means a lot more than logging on zoom. It means being real and accessible and kind and listening. I was not able to do that fully this morning.  I texted my school, sipped on my coffee and went back to sleep.  Two hours later... The sun was shining. My windows were wide open. I decided to go for a walk. It felt amazing.  And I'm grateful that I listened to my body.   It's so easy to push through when I'm not 100% but I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to step back.   Bella knows how to step back and relax.  We should all learn a lesson from Bella.