That 2021

I think it's weird that I don't remember pain.  I mean the kind of pain that cripples you.   Do I remember the pain during my son's birth? No!  Major surgery? Nope!  Don't get me wrong, I remember what it sounds like and what it looks like but not the feeling.  So that is why I was so thrown off by the side effects of the vaccine. Fever.  Headaches.  Body aches.  Nausea. Cold sweats.  Hot 🔥sweats.  No taste.  No smell.   I must have checked off all of the boxes.   And it was the worst 24 hours.   Was it worth it?  I'm not sure but it's done. 

Today I was sore and achy. I woke up with a huge headache.  My arm felt yuck. Should I go to school? I thought about it for an hour. I thought about going to school (my dining table) and showing up for my kiddos. But showing up means a lot more than logging on zoom. It means being real and accessible and kind and listening. I was not able to do that fully this morning.  I texted my school, sipped on my coffee and went back to sleep.  Two hours later... The sun was shining. My windows were wide open. I decided to go for a walk. It felt amazing.  And I'm grateful that I listened to my body.   It's so easy to push through when I'm not 100% but I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to step back.   Bella knows how to step back and relax.  We should all learn a lesson from Bella.